Working Gal

Good news!

I was offered a part-time job doing some editing, and I gratefully took it. Before I had Bugman I was a technical writer, but it's been eleven looonnng years since I've done anything professional with words, grammar, sentence structure...

I was very nervous starting off, but I feel like I'm getting back into the groove and I'm remembering how much I love this stuff--yes, I'm a true word nerd. And I love reworking sentences/paragraphs to make them a little cleaner, the meaning a little clearer. Can't you just tell by the way I write my blogs? (Ha! Good one, there--I totally put rules aside when I come here....)


Here's an idealized version of my new life:

Here's what it really looks like:
(I heart Tina Fey, btw!)

Welfare Queen Wannabe

The Queen Pea is reaching for another crown: Welfare Queen.


Several years ago, I read a book called Flat Broke with Children: Women in the Age of Welfare Reform by Sharon Hays. In it, Hays states that less than 6% of those currently on welfare fall into the stereotype of "Welfare Queen," or someone who purposely and perpetually stays on welfare for most of her adult life. On the contrary, most (94%) are typically on welfare for a relatively short duration (a few months to five years), and then move on to become good little contributing members of society.

Don't believe a word of it. Nevermind that Hays' book is impeccably researched or that she interviewed hundreds of welfare recipients over a three year period, even shadowing a few (with permission), before writing this book. Because after living nine months on the dole, I know the truth.

Here goes...our dirty little secret: we LOOOOOVE this lifestyle. So much!! After nine months, we've become completely entranced, enthralled, enamored even, with hand-outs and leg-ups. We joy in receiving monthly food stamps for three weeks worth of food. We revel in rolling in our unemployment checks, lavishly spending them on....mortgage, utilities, or insurance payments! (Which this month? You choose!!) Forget that we can't actually afford to GO to the doctor...apparently that's not what insurance is for.

Humbled that we are beholden to relatives/friends/neighbors for big and little things alike? Terrified to receive another invitation to a shower/birthday party/wedding because of present-buying anxiety? Embarrassed to be caught with a McFlurry from McDonald's (bought because I was so....McHappy) because I'm misspending your money? Worried that we will run through our parents' retirement savings because they refuse to let us lose our home? Pfft!! In the spirit of Triumph the Ever Obnoxious Insult Dog, we "poop" on such emotions!! The word here is....ENTITLEMENT.

Oh, yes. Scratch and I have been lulled into the cycle of poverty by the trickly-sweet arms of the Nanny State. We chew up your hard-earned, tax-payer dollars for breakfast and spit them out the window while shouting out, "SUCKERS!!" Yep, this is the life. We're hanging up our pavement-pounding shoes because we want to live this way FOREVAH!!!!

Who wouldn't???

"aahhh!"

When we went to visit my folks this fall, we forgot to bring our swimsuits. Which is semi-tragic, because my dad has a hot tub, and Bugman really looks forward to relaxing in the tub each and every morning with Grandpa. It's kind of their tradition whenever Bugman is in town. (The rest of us enjoy using it too--just not at 7am.)

Between the cousins we were able to scrounge up suits for Bugman and Cici, but not for Schmobie. No matter. Schmobie said he'd just go "in his belly and his ding-dong." That's probably the cutest term for naked that I've ever heard. Well, after stating that, we couldn't deny him. So in he went, with not a stitch on, but his belly and his ding-dong, of course.

Bugman and Cousin C-man

Which leaves me to wonder: What unique ways have your kids described the state of undress?

The Hostesses With the Mostest

My sisters-in-law H-girl and Southern Belle have a knack for throwing beautifully-decorated parties. I greatly admire this. It's strange, for while I love things of beauty and definitely appreciate ambiance--I have absolutely NO talent for this whatsoever.

The shower for my sis D.Bo and her twins--the theme: two peas in a pod. Notice the compote with the pea pods inside (Southern Belle's terrific idea). In a million years, I wouldn't have thought of that. (I had to look up the word "compote"; to me, it's that tall glass thingy.)


Sister-in-law K's shower (put together by H-girl)--love the brown and blue, love the dots. And the white flowers? Tres elegante!

The Hunger Games

NaBloPoMo got seriously derailed. It's all the fault of one book, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I liked it so much, I bought the sequel the day after I finished reading it. (Warning: may cause marital strife as you'll completely ignore your spouse 'til you finish.)

Fast-paced, disturbing, and very addictive. Intriguing characters--and a little romance thrown in as well. If you like series novels, I bet you'll like this too.

Nine Month Anniversary

Nine months ago today, Scratch was laid off. Long enough for a pregnancy to go full term. Long enough to touch on all four seasons. Long enough for Schmobie to go from a few words linked together to full-on, mostly grammatically correct paragraphs. Long enough for us to go, "Hey, it's been an interesting adventure; we think we're ready for 'boring' now."

Ah, good ol' healthy, happy, fully-employed "boring." No twists, no turns, no newsworthy events. I tell ya, boring has never looked so good.

Grandpa's 70th

While we were in California, my dad turned the big 7-0. (Wow.) The timing was perfect, because all of his children and all of his siblings and a whole bunch of his nieces and nephews were in town for Cousin Mel's wedding. We had a big celebration at the beach house, and roasted my dad into the wee hours. And I have to say, 70 never seemed so young to me.

"Old School." That's what my brothers call my dad when they play golf. Which they do a lot.


The birthday boy.


My dad and his siblings. They spent the night reminiscing about cold winters in Idaho.

My dad in a nutshell:

1. He's awesome.
2. He's a trivia whiz.
3. Don't even think about trying to beat him in Scrabble.
4. He's a voracious reader.
5. And a sports fanatic.
6. Not a whole lot ruffles his feathers.
7. He's retired now after a long career in the field of public health administration: two decades with the World Health Organization (developing and implementing health programs to combat a whole host of diseases and other health issues in the Americas) and 2-3 years as the Director of USAID.
8. Is fluent in Spanish; earned the nickname the Argentine Gringo at work for the Argentine accent picked up on his mission.
9. Even though he's retired, he remains very busy through multiple volunteer positions: Master Gardener
   ________ City Planning Commission
   Democratic Party District Chair
   ________ City Arts Council Board of Directors
   On the Board of Directors of an international non-profit organization
   Adjunct Professor (teaches project management, field epidemiology, and health admin.)
   
10. Has a nice bass voice and sings in the choir at church.
11. Soaks in his hot tub every morning.
12. Is a kind, fun, generous grandfather.
13. He maintains a gorgeous garden:
    

Mom and Dad in Fiji this summer with the international nonprofit org., where Dad helped train college-age participants.


Happy 70th Dad!! I've always been so proud to be your daughter.